Celebrating Transitions

As your boys grow and develop as young men, opportunities will arise for fathers to acknowledge and celebrate that. There are 5 milestone ages that will mark significant transitions in each boys life. With each transition, your son will officially move to the next Flame level in his REALMAN experience. This should be seen as a growth marker and an advancement, but it will not be based on performance or achievement. Instead, these markers are based on ages and natural transitions that will happen in every young man’s life.

For each transition, boys should be encouraged and acknowledged in front of the entire group at the ceremonial fire at that year’s official REALMAN weekend. Boys will develop strength and confidence over the years as they grow in Biblical wisdom, develop deeper bonds with their REALMAN brothers and fathers, and gain competency in new Man-Skills. With each transition into a new Flame level, boys will be recognized and celebrated around the fire, and will receive the next Flame Medallion to affix to their staff.

The Red Flame is given to every son when his REALMAN staff is presented. The induction ceremony is a significant moment to mark the beginning of his journey as a REALMAN. Each dad gets a chance to speak words of blessing and affirmation to his son at the induction ceremony, and welcomes him to this intentional journey toward authentic manhood. The ideal age to launch your son into REALMAN is age 5, but if you are new to REALMAN and have older boys, it is never too late to get started!

The Orange Flame is given at age 13. Becoming a teenager is a tremendous rite of passage and continues to set a boy on the course to becoming a young man. There is much transition already going on in your 13-year-old’s life. He is getting taller and stronger. His voice may be starting to change and he’s growing hair in new places. Their world is changing all around them, so it will be important to remind them of truth that never changes at this ceremony.

The Blue Flame is given at age 16. Of all the colors, the blue flame is the hottest. This is a fitting description of a 16-year-old male. Physiologically he has become more man than boy, but emotionally he has a long way to go. These next few years will be marked by a strong will and a desire for independence. But he won’t have the maturity to go along with that. This ceremony offers dads a chance to speak directly to their son’s wild nature and strong passions for life, but also to offer some specific direction and instruction that will be key to their journey.

The White Flame is given at the graduation ceremony. This will be their final year of high school and their final year as an official REALMAN son (don’t worry, they can continue to come back every year if they want to). The white flame is the color of fire when all the flame colors are mixed together. It is a time to recognize the official manhood of your son. He has run the race well for years as a REALMAN on a journey, and these years have brought him to this place. At this ceremony, you are sending your son out in to the world on his own for the first time. And largely because of his years as a REALMAN, you are confident and excited for him as he goes!